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What do you want?

At this time of year, it seems that everyone is trying to sell us something. Everywhere you look, someone is telling us that we need this or that in order to have a great Christmas, or that your children won’t be happy unless they have the latest ‘xyz’ gadget. From black Friday until Christmas Eve we are constantly bombarded with ‘buy this’, ‘buy that’.

But as we all know, there can be a world of difference between what we want and what we actually need.

And, since we are all individuals, what one person needs is unlikely to be the same thing that someone else needs. A homeless person at this time of year might need a roof over their head and a hot meal. Someone who has been working far too hard for the past year may, in contrast, be in need of winding down and resting. Each of us is a unique individual, with a unique take on the world, with unique gifts and talents. Trying to answer the question of “what do we really need” without taking account of our unique individuality is surely as pointless as asking Santa for ‘world peace’ because we really, really want it – AND we’ve been good.


But wait a minute…

What if there was a way of looking at things, a vantage point, a perspective, a point of view – an attitude if you like, that could show you clearly, not what you think you want, but what you actually need in order to live a better life? What if there was a point of view from which everything makes perfect sense?

And even better, what if each of us were born with an inner guidance system that we could tap into in order to access this point of view –  this attitude. Well, I’ve got good news! Both you and I, and every single person on this planet does have such a guidance system. You must have it because you are reading this – so you must be alive. It is the force of life itself and it lies within. It is innate. You already have it!

Then you would never again need to waste time, energy or money trying to figure out the difference between what you think you want and what you really need.

PTSD Success Story

Here is an example which illustrates the power of adopting this point of view – this perspective.

One of my clients recently completed a series of six sessions with me. He arrived suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder following an incident in Basra, in Iraq back in 2007 during which several people died. He was permanently tired and irritable with his family and at work. He struggled for nine years with disturbed sleep until he was referred for treatment by the charity PTSD Resolution – which provides free help for ex-military servicemen and women suffering the effects of trauma.

Here is what he said at his last session with me:

I realised that I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder about four months after I returned from Basra in November 2007. I couldn’t sleep and I was permanently tired and irritable with my family and at work. I struggled for nine years. I just thought “that’s the way it is”. But then I met someone who recommended that I seek help from the “PTSD Resolution” charity. They provide free help for ex-service men and women suffering from trauma.

I was sceptical at first, and it felt a bit silly at first, a bit strange – but it worked for me. In six sessions my sleep disturbances have reduced significantly and I no longer have night terrors. My sleep is normal. I am happier. I am less snappy – which is good for the whole family environment. I am less snappy at work. I don’t go into sulks or shut down and not talk to anybody anymore. I am back into reality. What I learned from Alec has not only helped me, but has helped my children and my wife. I would definitely recommend PTSD Resolution to anyone who is struggling with trauma. Give it a go. Honestly. It works.

And if you are still not convinced, then take a look at the graph below – which shows his progress over just six sessions – as rated by him (not by me!)

This chart shows how guiding someone to adopt this perspective can enable rapid and dramatic progress – even with conditions which are traditionally considered “difficult” – such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In trauma work, at in8 we regularly use a form called the “Impact of Events Score” (IES) form which is designed to measure the degree of impact that a traumatic event has had on a client. His initial IES at the first session was 34 and he rated his level of sleep disturbance at 8 / 10. At his final (sixth) therapy session his final IES was 5 and he now rates his sleep disturbance as 1 / 10.

This is what can be achieved when you truly understand the innate (in8 get it?) guidance system that is inside each and every human being. Are you struggling with depression, anxiety or trauma? Sometimes we just need an experienced guide who can show us how to use our innate guidance system to get our life back on track. Pretty much any mental condition in which you find that your brain is not your best friend can be helped quickly using this approach. So, if this is you, stop what you are doing, pick up the phone, dial 01225 766956 and call me to find out how this revolutionary new approach can help you get what you actually need.