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The context for these videos

Each post in this short series is from Alec’s weekly livestream to the Facebook group Finding the Balance with Anxiety Freedom Cards. Each week I focus upon one of our innate resources or needs as depicted in the Anxiety Freedom Cards. And the reason I’m doing this is to show you how you too can live a life free from anxiety and stress.

Please let me know what you think by scrolling to the bottom and commenting below!

Below is a direct transcript from the video shown above.

Hello, good afternoon and welcome to another of Alec’s Tuesday Two o’clock Topics on this Tuesday, June the 29th. How are you today? If you’ve been following these videos, you may know I’ve been away for a couple of weeks. So we’ve had a wonderful rest camping on the northern edge of Exmoor and glad to be back and sharing some of these ideas about getting our needs met in balance and using our resources wisely in order to do so.

The topic for today is our innate need for sense of achievement, a sense of getting things done and making progress. And it is, it is as wide as it as long, you know, we can get achievement from learning new skills. We can get achievement from making things or achieving things or setting goals or targets. And I think it’s really important to keep things in perspective because although a need for a sense of achievement is really important part of life.

And we don’t feel well if we never get that warm glow that comes with the phrase: “You know what? I’m glad I did that!” If we never get that feeling of being able to say that we’re glad we achieved something, then we do get stressed and life can be a little grayer than it should be, but I’m also wary of this goal-oriented world we live in now where achievement is like the only thing that matters. And I don’t subscribe to that at all. I think it’s about getting things met imbalance.

So to set the context for these discussions, this is all about recognising that when we get our various needs met, you know, needs to feel safe, needs to feel respected, need for privacy, need food and drink, need the sleep, all of these various attributes that human beings, not attributes, but forms of nourishment that human beings need to get in balance are so important for us to feel good about ourselves, to feel good about our life and to be able to function and be creative and contribute and help others and function effectively in a complex world. And being able to get our needs met in balance is a vital part of of being able to get that sense of being healthy and being vibrant and playing a role.

And so this approach is about recognising those innate needs, those skills, those resources that we’re born with, you know, our natural abilities to connect with other people, to be able to make plans, to make lists, to be able to think creatively and imaginatively and to be able to reflect sometimes in quietness.

And when we look at these various skills and resources from this perspective and start to use them, put them to use, to get our needs met in balance, then we can live a life that’s relatively free from stress and anxiety. But today we’re focusing on the need for achievement and I, in preparation for this talk, I just thought, well, what do I feel has given me that warm glow in my life? And so I started to think about a list and I’m sure if I spent more time, I’d probably come up with a lot more things, but it was surprisingly hard for me. Interestingly, I don’t, I couldn’t kind of claim, you know, I’ve ever climbed Everest or done anything kind of like major in that way, but there are things I’m proud of.

I’m really proud of my relationship with my wife and business partner, Bindi. It’s my second marriage. And we’ve both worked hard at it. It hasn’t needed a huge amount of hard work it’s it was, you know, we kind of recognised each other after a couple of years when we met, but I am pleased and proud of the way that we’ve teamed together in order to bring up our teenagers, when we, when we first got together. They’ve all fled the nest now, flown the nest, fled the nest, probably a bit of both. And so that’s something that I’m proud of is the way that we provided structure and security for our four children and the way we supported them.

And in fact, if I just look at my two, who were I think about eight and eleven when I met Bindi, I’d been relatively recently divorced. And Louis, my son was fascinated by mathematics and he wanted to get a first class master’s in mathematics from the best university for maths, which is York. And he went off and he achieved that. And I’m so proud of him. He did what he loved and he excelled at it.

Laurie is a very different personality, very creative, very artistic. She’s the person who’s drawn these various images that we use on the cards. And it’s hard to make a living in the art world, but she’s now making a successful career as an illustrator of children’s books. And I’m just equally as proud of her because she followed her heart and she stuck to things that were quite hard and stuck with it. And now she’s actually starting to get her name on books and publications. And again, I’m proud, proud dad. So those are the things that I feel. Yeah, I, I, it’s not my achievement, but I’ve contributed to those successes that gives me the warm glow.

Many years ago, I used to write software and I on a project for about five years. It had 80,000 lines of code. And it was a very complex system and it worked and it controlled a production line in a factory. No one will ever know of it or hear of it or see it other than the people who work day and night with that predict, with that production facility. But that was a big challenge. I was very proud of what we achieved to get the system to work robustly and to do what it was supposed to do. It took a lot of engineers and a lot of head-scratching and a lot of problems to be overcome, but we got there in the end. That was a project that gave me a warm glow.

You may have known the story of when I sunk my narrow boat or half sunk it to get it out from under a, well from a mooring where it couldn’t really navigate up or down the river. And I had to get it under a very low footbridge. And that was a big project. Bindi helped me with that when we first met. And when we achieved that, that, that was that sense of achievement. Yeah. That was a job well done. I’ve always liked to do things properly if I can. And there was a great sense, partly because it opened up possibilities, I could now sell the boat. I could take it to a boat yard. I couldn’t get the bottom blacked. I could get it maintained. Until that point it had been landlocked or riverlocked and I wasn’t able to do anything with it. And shortly after that, I sold it and we moved into our house together.

I’ve been clearing out hundreds of cassette tapes from going right back to my teenage years over the last couple of weeks. And I’ve, one of those things I’ve felt very difficult to get rid of is music that I’ve created. A lot of recordings I made of band rehearsals of gigs that I’ve played, and I’ve never actually listened to the recordings, but I just, I wanted to capture the essence of the moment. And I knew that one day I’d like to listen to them, but I can’t go around in life lugging around 200, 300 cassette tapes. So I’ve been going through them, picking out the ones that might be interesting, digitising them onto a computer so I’ve got a digital copy of the music, and then throwing the cassette tapes away cause nobody needs them or wants them anymore. And I haven’t even got a cassette tape player that I could usefully use them on. But some of the music I’ve discovered from years ago that I contributed to, or played a role in, I’m really, I really loved listening to it. Some of it’s really good, not all of it, some of it’s quite dreadful, but yes, that gives me the warm glow of a sense of achievement because I put the hours in to learn my skill as a guitarist. And I’ve played some wonderful gigs in my life. I mean, not big prestigious ones, you know, haven’t made the pyramid stage at Glastonbury yet and probably never will. But I do remember a night in a pub. I can’t even tell you where it was, somewhere in Yorkshire, where had everybody on their seats jumping up and down with the band, not wanting us to stop. A right raucous evening and a fantastic sense of, yeah, I contributed to that. I played a part in that.

I was very proud of the geodesic dome tent that Bindi and I built in order to go to Glastonbury and work on the healing fields back in about 2005, I think it was. It’s a beautiful tent and we didn’t take it with us to Exmoor recently, we took a more modern, more practical tent because the dome tent is wonderful, but it takes quite a long time to set up and tear down. But making that, I’ve always loved making things, gives me that warm glow sense of achievement.

Becoming a fellow of the Human Givens Institute was one of my proudest achievements.

Publishing the 7-11 CD.

The music that I wrote and created and recorded for that was a good achievement. Publishing the cards. I’m still proud of these cards. People use them all over the world and they work really well. And as a business, it hasn’t been massively successful in terms of revenue, but in terms of helping to change people’s lives, I think it’s been wonderfully successful. So I’m, I’m proud of that.

Proud of the fact that I can still skateboard at the age of 64, that I have good health. I’ve not particularly looked after my health, particularly, but I’ve not taken too many risks. And it’s nice to be able to get up and walk and move and not have to take meds every day. I’m very blessed to be healthy at this age. So those are just some of the things that I feel have given me that warm glow of a sense of achievement.

What’s worked for you?

Are they the big things or the little things? I’m always interested to know how people get their needs met and what works for them. If you have any thoughts or comments about that, do share them. I’ll check in with the Facebook group as I’m doing this live and see if there’s anything there. I’ve recently, while I was on holiday.

I read the biography of Elon Musk, the billionaire who created the Tesla electric car and SpaceX and the gigafactories for making modern lithium batteries. And he’s been an extraordinarily successful man who’s achieved amazing things, but oh my goodness, what an interesting and weird life he lives. And I don’t want ever to be driven the way that Elon Musk is driven. That’s probably why I’ll never be a billionaire. I don’t need to be a billionaire either, but I am a bit wary of this kind of “Let’s do it tomorrow. Let’s do it as fast as we can. And let’s not take any compromises.” He drives his workforce incredibly hard. He sets impossible goals. He gets people to commit to doing impossible goals. Again, it says, I want you to do the impossible. Can you do it by next Friday? And they say yes, because he doesn’t take no for an answer. And I don’t think it’s a healthy way to live. And I don’t think, I think it helps us to achieve great things. You know, SpaceX has achieved amazing technological success in rocket launches and cutting costs of space travel. But I don’t want to live in Elon’s world really. I’m wary of it. I think it’s inhuman in some degrees and we need a balance between this kind of goal oriented approach to life and a more organic and more wholesome and perhaps healthy, balanced way of living. It was an interesting biography though.

I think that sometimes it’s an achievement to accept what is rather than to go out and change the world. Sometimes what is, you know, the circumstances we find ourselves in, in life really challenging. And sometimes it’s not about setting a goal to achieve change, to make a difference. It’s about actually changing our mindset to accept a situation and to be wholesome and creative within those limitations. And I think also that achievement is an intensely personal thing.

What you might think I would be proud of, might not align with what I feel proud about. I’ll give you an example of that is, is I, when I left school, I was sponsored to do a degree in electronic engineering and I got a good degree. And to many people at that time, I qualified in 1979, that was seen as a real achievement. But for me it didn’t count. And the reason it didn’t count is that I felt quite strongly that all I’ve ever done is done. What I’ve been told to do. It was really an exercise in compliance. I was pushed into it in a sense. My father was a mechanical engineer and he didn’t want me to do music and physics, which was my first choice at university because he thought that was just daydreaming. So he wanted me to do some sort of more practical, more, not practical, but something that was more attuned to a kind of career, so I could earn a living. And he steered me towards electronic engineering. And so in a sense I didn’t own my own achievement. I was doing it for other people. And I think we all go through phases in life when, when that happens to us. And it meant that I, my mind wasn’t fully committed to what I was doing. And when I got the degree at the end of that, I thought, well, yeah, okay. That’s what happens if you work hard and you do what you’re told and you’re a good boy. I didn’t a lot of the things that I had wanted to do, which was to be in bands as a student, to live a student life. I worked hard and I kind of paid the price for it. I had a wonderful opportunity at the end of it to have job options that many people never get, but I didn’t really value it myself because it wasn’t my decision, in that sense.

I felt that proud when we paid off our mortgage last year, that was always going to be a milestone in my life when I no longer have to worry about finding money every month just to live somewhere. But actually that was just compliance as well, really, because I’d worked hard. I’d done what was expected. I’d raised kids. I had complied and that’s what happens if you’re good. So, I mean, it is an achievement, but it didn’t really count for me and things like I mentioned, the software work that I did. Actually, I was just having fun, messing with technology, a lot of the time. I was going down stream. I was flowing. So that didn’t feel so much of an achievement.

So I think it’s really important that we realise that sometimes the small achievements are just as important as the big ones. In fact, sometimes they can be more important. I get thrilled. Well, thrill is too big, a word. I won’t say I get a thrill, but I do get a sense of achievement from remembering to put the bins out on the, on the bin day, because I so easily forget things like that. So if I do remember it, and I’m getting better at that kind of thing now. But I used to be head in the clouds. I used to kind of forget everything and lose things. But now when I do something that’s slightly organised like that and the bins get emptied and then they’re not overflowing in two weeks time. I get that feeling: “Do you know what? I’m glad that I did that!” I’m glad I gave it a bit of attention. I’m glad that I made that happen. No matter how small the game is, it’s something that I contributed to.

So I also think that it’s sometimes when you think you’re winning, you’re not always, you know, always achieving what you think you set out to do. So I started playing guitar at the age of eight and I was very diligent at practice. I loved playing guitar. I still love playing guitar. By the time I’ve reached the age of 18, I was pretty proficient. I could play different styles. I could play classical. I could play blues. I could play electric, but I had focused on becoming the best technician that I could imagine. In fact, that’s partly because of my parents’ interest in classical music. I just assumed that you had to be the best player you possibly could be to have any chance of playing with other people. What I actually discovered at the age of 18, when I went out into the wider world and met other people, is that they were intimidated by my abilities quite often. And it was very difficult to have fun making music with other people because people would sort of look at my fairly posh guitar which I bought when I was 18, because that mattered to me to have a good instrument. And they would say, oh, well, I’m not really in your league. And they would shrink away. And so I’ve, if I’d prioritised having fun with the guitar, that would have been a completely different thing to prioritising being the best player I could be. And when I look back with the benefit of hindsight, I kind of think I didn’t get the balance right there at all. Yes, I achieved what I set out for, but it’s kind of like be careful of what you wish for, because you might get it. Do I want to be a good player or do I want to have fun playing with other people. They are two different things.

And I believe really, maybe as I get older, it just gets more important, but going downstream is really key to having a fulfilled life. And what I mean by going downstream is, I mean, not struggling upstream against the current. So finding things that you love doing, that inspire you, that light you up, getting your needs met in balance is important to be able to even have a chance of doing that. If you don’t feel safe, you can’t focus on other things. But going downstream is sometimes more important than setting goals and achieving them. So I want to keep this in perspective. You know, we do need this sense of being able to say, oh, I’m glad I did that, but it isn’t everything. And, and we have to keep it in balance with our other needs.

There was a debate on TV this morning while I was having breakfast. I think it was to do with Andy Murray, winning his match at Wimbledon yesterday. And people were talking about whether it was important to take part in the game or how important was it to win at the game, whatever game we’re involved in. We’ve got the euros at the moment, the football, and they’ve got Wimbledon. And there’s a lot of people out there with high ambitions to win, just in the same way that Elon Musk wants to win at all costs sometimes. And I’ve never really been someone who relishes competition against other people. Although I like to push myself, I like to compete against myself. And I think that because life is growth. If you look at nature, things that aren’t growing are dying, you know, so if we look at human beings, if we’re not growing, if we’re not stretching ourselves, if we’re not learning new skills, or if we’re not developing ourselves in some way, then we’re stagnating and eventually we’re dying. And so if you start from the premise that life is growth and growth implies change, then competing against ourselves in gentle ways. And I don’t mean, you know, trying to make, to change the world from where we are. I don’t think we always have to initiate a revolution. Sometimes it’s the quiet things that we do. The small steps that we contribute that make the biggest difference. The kind word said to the right person at the right time can be far more important than that goal that we set and then we achieved. And also setting goals and always striving towards achieving rather than getting needs met in balance can be extremely stressful as well. It’s not always a good way to live.

I wanted to share this image that comes from Joe Griffin’s work. Which explains how this is related Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, but it’s the more modern way that Joe Griffin portrays our needs.

And you’ll see, right in the middle of that triangle is privacy. Above are the kind of social, stretching things that we might do as human beings. So we have competence by learning, having a sense of meaning and purpose, working with others in teams. And those are things that are important, they’re innate needs. They’re part of what makes us tick, but we can’t even start to focus on the green area at the top of the triangle if we don’t feel safe, or if we don’t have any recognition from other people or any sense of control over our lives.

So that’s why those three at the bottom: status, control and security, and for status, you can read respect, I think as well, we use the word respect on the cards. If you’re in, if those are threatened and you’re in the red zone, then your emotional brain takes priority. You can’t generally think straight and you tend to be either in fight or flight or in extreme cases you go into the shutdown mode.

And once you’ve got those basic needs met, then you can start to access your observing self, which is in the amber zone in the middle. When you can have a sense of privacy, because you have some spare capacity because you’re not fighting for survival as it were. And once you achieve that level of ease, let’s say, then you can start to stretch yourself. You can start to enjoy this sense of achievement. This, these engage in learning activities, acquiring new skills. You can start to collaborate with others and work in teams to become social, to work in communities, to have an emotional connection. But these are almost like the luxuries at the top of the pyramid that you don’t get access to if you’re in the red zone of the emotional brain.

And I just thought I’d share that because Bindi was working on some slides for another project recently, and our cards don’t reflect this, this hierarchy, but it’s the same message in essence. And I just thought it was a good opportunity to share that diagram again and just point out, you cannot be in the red zone and the green zone at the same time. You can’t be fighting to get your need for security met and also being creative and thinking creatively. The red zone takes priority. If you’re in the red zone then rumination and worry are common. Problem solving occurs in the green zone at the top. So you can’t solve problems if you’re, if you’re fighting to get your basic needs met because you’re in an emotionally aroused state. So this sense of achievement comes really from, you don’t get to enjoy it unless you can have your basic needs for security met and you have the luxury, it is a luxury sometimes to be able to take time, to look around and see what needs doing and to be creative and to collaborate with other people. So, yes, I’m just looking at my notes here.

We need to feel safe and we need to feel appreciated. And we need to have a certain sense of autonomy about our own lives before we get the luxury of having a privacy to reflect, then we can start to stretch ourselves, get involved in a sense of meaning and purpose, collaborate with others, be involved in a community, have connections and teamwork. And so I think that the sense of achievement sometimes can be a luxury, but it is important.

The story today, I’ve been doing these lives for a year now, and I’ve been sharing a story every week since the 30th of June last year. And I’ve just about run out of stories. I mean, there’s thousands of stories in the world, but choosing one that’s kind of appropriate and about the right length. And the, I know well enough to either read or to narrate is getting harder week by week. So this might be the end of the weekly stories. I’ll wait to see what kind of feedback I get before making that decision.

But I was thinking I would share a personal story from my own life today. And it’s about my time at university. I’ve mentioned this a little bit earlier and said I was pushed hard academically. I was sponsored to do this electronic engineering degree, which was very lucky thing to, to, I was very, you know, I worked hard to get it, but it wasn’t an opportunity that was given to everyone. I was blessed to have this opportunity, to be paid to be a student and to do a sandwich course, a four year course in engineering. But it was my dad’s idea. It wasn’t my idea.

So I wasn’t fully committed to it. Well, I did commit to it because I took it seriously and I was compliant as I said before. I did what I was told. But this particular course meant working all holidays. So I didn’t get any student holidays. I would go back to the Rutherford lab and work in the laboratories or in the safety section or the vacuum department or different areas to get different experiences or the drawing office every summer holiday. And it was wonderful because they paid me a salary as a student. So I wasn’t dependent on my parents or on a grant or on the loans or anything like that. I was, I was a very lucky position. The problem was my heart wasn’t really in it. And I discovered skateboarding. And so this was about the age of 18 or 19. And I just loved the feeling of being out on a skateboard.

I will, I’ve just seen a comment has just come up. I’m just going to share this. What resources do you have for finding stories? I am an HG trainee. Fantastic. Thank you. Yes. I will share a number of resources with you. I haven’t got them physically in front of me right now, but I will share a number of things that I’ve relied on in the past that you can cos stories are such an important aspect of understanding life, but also helping other people through therapy. You can sometimes, by choosing the right story at the right time for the right person, you can help someone reframe a situation in a way that simply understanding intellectually can never approach. So I’m a great fan of stories. And I will certainly address your question, but I’ll finish my story first.

So I was into skateboarding. I didn’t like revising. It was a struggle. And some of the maths in our electronic engineering degree was just insanely difficult. I really, you know, I’m not a natural mathematician. I was good at study, but I really struggled to get my head around some of it. And so I, the slightest excuse, I’d go off on my skateboard. And I spent half a day in a skate park, down in Bristol instead of revising for my finals. And in those days, a lot of the pressure was in the final exams. You didn’t, there was some assessment during the last year, but it wasn’t very modular, it was all based on how well you perform in those six, three hour examinations in June at the end of your four years of course. So there’s a lot of pressure. And I realised as, as the weeks counted down towards my finals, that I hadn’t done nearly enough preparation. There were areas that I hadn’t really understood and that I didn’t really have time to revise.

So I was faced with this dilemma, what do I do? Because I’m being paid to get a good degree. I can’t afford to fail at that. You know, people, other people have invested in me to a huge degree, so I need to get this degree. And I kind of thought, how can I best use my time? The remaining, I think it was maybe a month before the finals. Do I revise? Do I cram every night? Do I burn the midnight oil and really work hard? Or do I take some other approach?

And in the end what I decided to do was to try and get fit. I don’t know why I made this decision. It was a bit of an impulse thing, but I just kind of thought if I’m physically fit, then I’ll be able to think clearly, and I’ll be on top of my game and I’ll be able to regurgitate what I have learned in the four years that I’ve been studying. So I started running around Bristol docks every night. Now it’s about, I don’t know, a couple of miles maybe. It’s not a long run. Yeah. But I wasn’t a runner. And the first time I did it, I can remember getting completely puffed out, red in the face. I don’t think I even managed to run the whole way round. I think I had to stop and keep walking. And when I got back to Clifton, where I had a flat, I was in hall in the first year. I had a flat in the final year.

There were very steep steps up from Hotwells, up the, the hillside up into Clifton. And the first time I approached these steps, I almost crawled on my hands and knees to get up them. I was so exhausted after running all the way around Bristol docks.

But the second day I was able to walk up them without getting too out of breath.

The third day I was able to walk up them easily.

The fourth day, I probably jogged up them.

And as my, as the days went by and the countdown towards my finals got closer and closer. I got fitter and fitter really quite quickly. I was used to hillwalking and skateboarding. I was a fairly physical, outdoors type anyway.

But by the end of two weeks, I was able to run up the stairs, the steps up the hillside, four at a time. And I felt on top of the world.

And then what I did on the way into the exams each day, when we had the finals. Again, I don’t know what inspired me to, to do this, but I decided to focus on my breathing. And I just took long, slow, deep breaths. Now I didn’t know about 7-11 breathing. And nowadays, if I was going to advise anyone else, I would really recommend a form of breathing where the out-breath is longer than the in breath, but even just doing deep breathing mindfully meant that I went into those exam rooms. And instead of being on the edge of panic, which is really where I should have or where I might have been historically from the lack of revision that I’ve done, I was able to be calm and grounded and think, well, what do I know? And how can I show the best of my abilities in these exams? And I got a good degree. It worked, the plan worked incredibly well. And it was interesting to me that it worked the idea of getting fit and breathing was more effective. than cramming and studying hard for me at that time.

And I just wanted to share that because I think it’s it. I set myself a goal to get a degree, but actually the way that we approach things doesn’t always have to be the automatic, well, you know, let’s just cram and study hard and just do what’s expected.

So let’s address this question about stories, where to find stories. So first of all, if you’re not familiar with the work of Idries Shah, and I can’t put that on the screen, I can’t think of a way to do that quickly. But Idris is I D R I E S. Shah is S H A H. He is no longer alive, but he was a great influence on Ivan Tyrrell, whose name you will know if you’re an HG trainee. And Idries Shah is a storyteller. And his, his works, his written works have hundreds and hundreds of stories. And I really urge you to have a look at some of his work. There are many books I could recommend that I’ve used a number of his stories over the last year when I’ve been sharing stories.

He tells a wonderful version of “The tale of the sands”, which is in the book of “The Sufis”, but that’s a heavy book. It’s a big book and it’s not specifically a storybook, but I certainly suggest that you start to get familiar with the work of Idries Shah. Maybe start with “The Commanding Self”, but “Learning how to learn”, “Knowing how to know”, “The Perfumed Scorpion”, “The Sufis”, all wonderful works. But there are many other places and Bindi and I, that you can find stories and Bindi and I have, over the years that we qualified as HG practitioners in 2003, and we’ve been using these ideas ever since, and we’ve made a conscious decision to collect stories. So if we hear of a story, excuse me, we’ll Google it or we’ll collect it, or we’ll find a book that has it. And quite often I’ll retype them. It’s good to make them your own and print them out and put them in a folder. So we have a folder full of stories.

And I think if you, yeah, if you want to know, I haven’t posted a list of the stories I’ve told, but I could do that. I could do that in this Facebook group. If you’re interested to know, I’ll point to where I’ve found the number of the stories that I’ve told. But basically just keep your ear open and collect them. And when you hear of a story, make a note to kind of make it your own and collect it and add it to your portfolio as it were. And the over the 15, 16 years, we’ve, you know, we’ve now got quite a large number of stories, but I have told most of them over the last year, and it’s getting harder and harder to find an appropriate story every time I do one of these Tuesdays two o’clock topics.

And so another book that is a wonderful reference is a book by Rob Parkinson. And it’s called “Transforming Tales: How stories change people”. And again, I’ll put a post to that in the Facebook group so that you can see that find that on Amazon, have a look at that. Where else do we get stories from Aesop’s fables, children’s fairy tales. There’s loads of compilations of stories. We’ve got a number of books which are compilations of stories. The Nasrudin stories are wonderful, the, I can’t remember the title of the book, but if you, if you know the short stories by Nasrudin, then there are several books that share those stories. But it’s mostly about keeping your ears open and just being open to the idea that, you know, a bit like a Jackdaw looking for shiny things, if you collect stories and go to the trouble of learning them so that you can tell them without having to read them, I haven’t done that with all the ones I’ve shared in these videos. Often I’ve read them, but the early ones that are the ones that mean the most to me are the ones that I’ve learned and made my own. But Rob Parkinson’s book is an excellent resource.

We’ve got, we’ve got a hundred world tales. I can’t remember the names of the books and I will go back to our bookshelf and I will put some notes in the Facebook post to help you as you’ve got any questions about them, do get back to me. Cause I’m a big fan of stories.

One of the most amazing essays that I’ve ever read is one by Idris Shah about the power of stories, and what stories can be and what they can mean. And I may put a link to that as well, if I can find that. So thank you for your question.

The Teaching Story by Idries Shah – Audio MP3

The Teaching Story by Idries Shah – Downloadable PDF file

Click to download PDF resource file  The Teaching Story (Downloadable PDF file)

I’m just going to check the Facebook group to see if there are any comments that I can’t see while I’m doing this Streamyard. Just refresh the page, bear with me while I check the Facebook group. And it’s Christina, thank you, Christina, for your question. No, there’s no, there’s no other comments here.

So I think it’s probably time to wind up for today. Just a reminder that next week I will continue on the topic of achievement, our innate need for sense of achievement, but next week we’ll run through the worksheet, that accompanies the cards. And you’re free to download and print out the worksheet, use it with your clients, use it in your work. We’re not precious about it. We want to get these ideas out there. We want you to take these ideas and run with them. And so, and also by doing the same topic a week apart, so achievement this week and achievement next week gives me time to reflect on other aspects of that need and also time for people to ask questions and me to address them. So if you have any other thoughts or any things you want to share about achievement, I will be talking about it again same time next week at two o’clock again. So thank you for your attention. Thank you for turning up. I really appreciate it.

If you’re in the in8 membership programme, just a reminder that tomorrow night is the last Wednesday of the month. So we have our monthly group zoom call. And it’s an important one this month because we’re talking about, Bindi and I will be talking about some of the changes that we’re going to make to the membership. This is a membership group where people get access to the online version of the cards, to the book, to the various worksheets, resources and videos that we’ve made over the years to support this approach, which is a kind of a subset of the human givens approach to wellbeing. So if you’re in the in8 membership, please put it in your diary for seven o’clock zoom call tomorrow night. It’d be great to, to get your input to some of the changes we’re thinking of making to the membership over the next few months.

So with that, I’m going to wind it up. Thank you very much. Whatever else you’re doing, don’t forget to keep breathing.

Please let me know what you think by commenting below! Thanks, Alec