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The context for these videos

Each post in this short series is from Alec’s weekly livestream to the Facebook group Finding the Balance with Anxiety Freedom Cards. Each week I focus upon one of our innate resources or needs as depicted in the Anxiety Freedom Cards. And the reason I’m doing this is to show you how you too can live a life free from anxiety and stress.

Please let me know what you think by scrolling to the bottom and commenting below!

Below is a direct transcript from the video shown above.

Hello, and welcome to another of Alec’s Tuesday Two o’clock Topics on this Tuesday, the 6th of July. How are you? I hope you’re well, if you’re watching this live as usual, please drop a comment so that I know you’re watching. And if you’re watching this on replay, it would be lovely if you could comment too, because I like to interact with people. And if you have any questions about this approach or anything that I say during this broadcast, I’d be very happy to answer your questions.

So today is the second week on the topic of achievement. Our innate need for a sense of achievement. And I often simplify this because it looks a little bit like winning the Olympics or something major, but I think it really boils down to the idea that we need to be able to say occasionally, “Do you know what? I’m glad I did that.” And that might be something major or it might be something that’s really quite trivial, but everything counts. If you have that warm glow that comes with the ability to say, “I’m glad I did that.”

Now, last… Oh, good afternoon, CG. Thank you for commenting. Yes, I am well, thank you. I hope you’re well, too. Lovely to see you here today.

Last week I shared some of my own personal achievements for what it was worth and a little bit about how I approached those achievements. This week I thought I would go back to one of the fundamental organizing ideas that underpins the human givens approach. And it’s an idea that you can use to help others to achieve their goals or to help not even necessarily to help them achieve their goals, but to help them formulate a goal and make some positive improvements in their life. It’s a long time since I’ve revisited any of the fundamental ideas, so I hope you’ll find this interesting. and that you might be able to apply some of what you learn today in helping your own clients to get from wherever they are right now, to a place where they’re definitely feeling better.

This whole approach is based around the idea that we have a number of human innate needs as represented by these blue cards, trying get them on screen. There’s about a dozen of these and achievement is just one of a dozen, but it’s an important one. They’re all important. And the idea behind this whole approach is that when we can get our needs met in balance, then our stress levels reduce our anxiety levels reduce automatically because we’re getting what we need and we can start to live a more fulfilled life, relatively free from anxiety and stress. I say relatively free because things happen in life and anxiety is there for a reason. Then it keeps us safe and it helps us to focus on what we need to do in the moment. But if we start to dwell on things and ruminate about them and go over the, the worst things that ever happens, then we can get more stressed and more anxious. So this is all about getting all needs met in balance.

And I’m going to begin with a framework for any time that you’re in a meeting. Now, I really mean this in the widest sense. It can be a meeting with a number of people more often, if you’re watching this video, it’s because you’re in a meeting with one other person and that other person may well be your client. But essentially by applying this framework to any meeting, you can make it more productive. And this is what it looks like. It’s called RIGAAR.

Oops, I’ve got the wrong side there. I prepared this, right? So RIGAAR, there are six letters in rigor and they stand for Rapport, Information gathering, Goal setting, Agreeing a strategy, Accessing resources and Rehearsing success. Now I’m not going to go through all of those steps today. I’m going to focus on setting an appropriate goal. The goal that will help anybody. And you can use this on your, on your own life. You can use this personally for yourself. You can also apply it to the clients that you work with.

So let’s talk about what does, what, how do you set an appropriate goal when you’re working with someone? Well, another key idea in this whole approach is that we set goals which are achievable, sorry, goals, which are PAN goals.

They’re Positive, they’re Achievable and they’re related to Needs. And you can remember PAN by “PANning for gold”. By positive, what I mean is setting goals that involve running away from things like I want to give up smoking, or I don’t want to feel anxious. They don’t work because your mind works associatively so you must always express the goal in the positive sense. So rather than I want to give up smoking, it has to be, I want to be able to run, to catch the bus without getting out of breath or whatever the reasons are that you want to give up smoking. So are there things that you move towards rather than things that you move away from.

Achievable is an interesting one. The first thing that it means is that it’s gotta to be a small step in the right direction. It can’t be, you know, I want to win the Olympics or something. If you’ve never run a marathon, if you’ve never trained, it has to be something that you, that is feasible, but it has to be more than that because you need to be able to picture it, imagine or know when and where it will be achieved. You’ve got to be specific about it. If it’s a nebulous thing, like, well, I want to be more confident. You know, that’s a worthy aim, but I wouldn’t call it a PAN goal because how will you know when you’re more confident? You have to say in what situation and ideally, will it be next week at that meeting you’re going to on Friday or will it be in a month’s time or you’d need to make it tangible.

So if a goal is achievable, it means that actually you have some knowledge about what it’s going to look like, what it’s going to feel like, where it’s going to happen, when it’s going to happen. And not everybody can picture things. So when I use the word, picture it, or imagine it, it might not be visual. It might be in a, in a more untangible way, but you need to have some sense of it in the future. And then finally needs, needs-related simply means it has to actually meet one or more of the cards that I showed earlier on, these innate needs. And the reason it has to do that is because by choosing a needs related goal, you guarantee that somebody will feel better when they achieve it.

If it’s not a needs related goal, then you might feel better. You might feel worse, it might be something you wanted to achieve. Sure. But a needs related goal will always make you feel better because it’s meeting a need. So if there’s something missing or compromised in your life, you know, that just picking through these cards that say, if you are, if you don’t feel safe, maybe, you know, you live in an unsafe environment then getting that need met will make you feel better because you’ll feel safer. So there’s a lot of sport going on at the moment. I’m not a massive sports fan, but I did watch a tennis match last night with young Emma. And there’s a big football match tomorrow night, as I’m sure many of you know. Athletes use this idea of rehearsing goals. Sorry. I’m I need to go back to the last slide. I’m scattering around here. Let me just go back to that one a minute when we, yeah.

So when, once we’ve got a goal, I’m going to skip in this talk to the last step in RIGAAR. So this is where we rehearsed success. And this is the thing that athletes do all the time. They spend time forming an image, a picture, a feeling, going through the steps of crossing the winning line, of winning the cup, of holding the trophy or whatever it is. And it might sound at first sight that that’s a bit of an indulgence and a bit of an unnecessary thing to do, but in reality, that conditions our brain, our mind, to expect that to happen. And it helps us in very real and tangible ways prepare to actually succeed in the goal that we’ve chosen. So rehearsing a success is a vital component of setting any goal. And at end of this little explanation, I’ll come back to why I think that the goal and the rehearsal are so tightly linked together or should be so tightly linked together.

I go back to a quote that I like from Napoleon Hill, who wrote that book: Think and Grow Rich. And he said, “whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” So this is why a goal needs to be achievable because you need to believe that you can achieve it. It’s got, mustn’t be something that’s so far ahead of you, that it would be a lovely dream, but you can’t really imagine it. You need to be able to conceive it and believe it for it to become a true. And also it matters how much focus and emotional energy you give that vision. So if you create a vision of something that you want to do, let’s say you’ve got a set of cards and you’d like to run a workshop using those cards. Have you, have you spent time picturing a successful workshop? How it will feel? What the people will say? The buzz that will be generated? The feedback that you’ll get? It’s a good idea to immerse yourself in the warm glow that comes with running a successful workshop.

A lot of people do the opposite. A lot of people think about, well, what if it doesn’t go? Well, what if it goes wrong? What if I forget my stuff? You know, don’t go there. That’s, that’s the opposite of what we’re talking about here. We’re talking about rehearsing success and the last step of RIGAAR. Give it some feeling, give it some emotional energy, give it some focus and imagine, I mean, I think I’ve talked about this when I talked about learning a difficult guitar piece in the past, they have to kind of immerse yourself in the excitement of doing it well. Imagine if I could play that piece without making any horrendous mistakes, imagine what it would feel like, how proud I would feel of my abilities. And you can big yourself up doing this. You don’t have to share it with the world. It can be a private thing, but it’s definitely worth doing because it makes a difference. And I will also say, don’t worry at this stage, how you’re going to achieve it. Don’t worry about the details of what has to happen, sequentially between now and then set the vision clearly, and let the universe deliver how. And it doesn’t mean to say you don’t pay attention and you don’t work on it.

I like to use the analogy of driving a long way at night. Let’s say if I needed to drive from Wiltshire to Aberdeen in Scotland at night, what would I need to do? Well, I’d have to have a vision of arriving in Aberdeen, you know, after a number of hours. And it’s a long journey. And I might actually choose to set my sat nav to tell me the right route. But once that bit’s done, I’ve had the vision and I’ve had the goal. I’ve sort of decided what it is I want to achieve. Then I put my headlights on, cause I’m driving at night. And I only focus on the next 200 yards of the road in front of me. I don’t worry about what I’m going to do when I get to Manchester or to Carlisle or, you know, anywhere further up on the, on the journey. I focus on what’s in front of my nose and that’s where my immediate energy goes. So I have the vision, but I don’t worry about what the road’s going to be like in the last 10 miles. I worry about the 200 yards in front of my headlights. Cause that’s all I can see at the moment. So I think that’s an important factor to build in.

As I said, when you set a goal to be PAN that’s Positive, Achievable, and Needs related, the achievable bit needs a bit of unpacking and the, what do they call it? The “Just what we need”, “Just what we need” parent pods programme that’s run by Carmen and I always forget her name (Linda Hoggan) in Milton Keynes. It’s a great human givens based programme for parents. They use PAN goals, but they add T and S. They call them PANTS goals. And the reason the add the T and the S is because they want to encourage people to choose goals that are Time limited and Specific. Now I stick to the original human givens definition of just P A N because I think that if it’s achievable, it is time limited and specific anyway, but it’s worth emphasising that PANTS goals can also be a description that’s used.

I’ve talked in the past a little bit about when I moved my boat under a low bridge, I’ve prepared some pictures that I can share with you here. I had to sink it, almost. Now let’s get this. Yeah. This is the boat going under the footbridge. Those are Bindi’s feet on the bridge actually. I’m on the boat. And as you can see a narrow boat on a river, it’s very low in the water. That was a scary thing to do. And it took a lot of planning of how we would do it. It took a lot of resources and people. I had to get a diver to clear the river bed. I had to do a survey of the height of the bridge and the depth of the river bed. There were a lot of stages to it. And when I first set out to try and do it, it felt impossible. It really did. There were so many things to do.

This is the day we actually put it into practice. You can see if the boat was to tip sideways, you could easily sink it because that’s a, you can’t stop the water getting in from the side, even though the doors are open and we are gently manhandling it below this very low footbridge. And the way we’ve done it, as we’ve built some tanks inside the boat, and we’ve filled them with many tons of water to get it low enough. And as you can see, it did eventually go through, it was a very close fit. It was both touching the bottom of the river bed and also the top, the underside of the bridge at the same time. So that was quite a scary experience.

But the point that I’ve made in the past when I’ve talked about this is that it was Bindi who helped me to, to make that happen. And the way she encouraged me was to set a date and work backwards. And I’ve been thinking about why was that so more, much more effective than what I’ve been doing before? And the reason is because what I’d been doing before was making plans, making decisions, doing work, clearing the river bed, doing a survey, making the tanks, but it was almost like there was this hopeful desire. I’ll call it that, that by putting everything together, I would eventually get to a point where we could move the boat under the bridge. It was, it was, it, it was immobile because I couldn’t go upstream because of a weir. And I couldn’t go downstream because of the bridge. And the boat had been delivered by a crane in the night, a few years before. And I had bought it with the knowledge that it couldn’t be moved. But I needed to move it, to get it to a boat yard, to maintain it and eventually to sell it. That’s why I needed to move it, but it was a very difficult problem to solve.

And Bindi came into my life at about that point. And she said, set a date and work backwards. Now that doesn’t sound a very revolutionary approach, set a date and work backwards. I hadn’t set a date cause I wasn’t really sure how things, how long things were going to take, which shows the difference between my style of thinking and Bindi’s style of thinking. But once I’d set a date suitably far ahead for it not to feel stressful, then I could work out week by week before that date, what had to happen. And just reflecting on that whole question of why did that work?

Why did it work so much better than what I’ve been doing before? And I was thinking about it in terms of RIGAAR and PAN goals. And I realised that if you set a date, you’ve set a PAN goal. It’s, you’ve set it to be achievable because you know where, and when it will be achieved, I hadn’t actually done that even with all the planning and the research and the work that I’d put into it over a year beforehand, I hadn’t actually set a date. So in a sense, it wasn’t really an achievable goal for me at that point. Cause I couldn’t tell you when it was going to happen, how it was going to happen. I haven’t envisaged it if you like. And so I think that’s why it worked so well is because I shifted my mode of thinking from hopeful optimism, to planning to meet a goal.

Now, as you know, from last week, I’m not a massive fan of goal setting, but I know it works really well in certain circumstances. And it works particularly well when you’ve got a client who’s struggling and they want to feel better. And if you can identify some change in their life, which is positive, it’s achievable and it’s related to needs, and then you help them rehearse it. Then it can really work brilliantly.

And I want to go back to that original screen-share. I’ll just go back to the other window and I want highlight these two items of RIGAAR. So I haven’t shared the screen. That’s putting it back on there. I should explain it as what is that, what’s going on. It’s not working. I’m going to have to stop that share, start another one. Just when you think you’ve got it all sussed, comes back to bite you in the bum. So if you’re watching this and you struggle with technology, you’re not alone, there’s always a way. You just need to stick at it. You need to keep experimenting, trying things out, messing about until you get what you want to work.

So I’ve highlighted two of the letters in RIGAAR. The goal I’ve talked about already, the PAN goal. The rehearsal I’ve talked a little bit about, and this is a vital part. If you string these two together, the goal and the rehearsal should be like this.

If you have a goal, but you’re not quite sure how to rehearse it, then I would say that it’s not a good goal. If you have a rehearsal, but it doesn’t relate strongly to the goal. If they’re not, if they’re not like this, then you’d, haven’t chosen a good goal. So it’s really important that the goal and the rehearsal are linked together and there’s a strong connection between them.

Okay, that’s it. That’s enough of the, of the theory, if you like. It’s a wonderful framework. It works really well. I advise, I urge you to use it, not only with your clients, but also in business meetings, meetings with potential suppliers, potential customers, it’s even good for committee type meetings. If you can get people to, to understand the framework and work towards it, it’s a fantastic tool to use. Bindi and I have used it a lot in a lot of different situations.

Now I did say that I would go through the worksheet and part of the reason I’m a little bit all over the place today is that, partly I’m expecting a delivery. So the doorbell money ring at any moment. And if it does, I know it’s not very professional, but please excuse me. It won’t take more than a minute while I run to the front door, answer it and take delivery of a parcel that I know is going to arrive in the next hour. But the other thing is that I’m using a different computer to the one I usually use. And I have just realised that I haven’t loaded up the worksheet. So please bear with me for a short while, while I just look for that achievement worksheet, it’s not gonna work. I’m not going to be able to get it quickly, which is really frustrating. I don’t think I can do it. I’m going to have to give up on that.

You’ve seen the worksheets, it’s a sheet of A4 paper, the achievement one is, has a picture of the card and it has a brief introduction. And then it has a number of questions and they ask, we asked people to score four different, well, there’s four questions that you addressed.

The first one is describe something that you did recently that you feel proud of. So something that you’ve achieved and it doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could be, you know, I visited my parents or I, I rang a friend two days ago and we had a short chat, something that maybe I’ve been meaning to get around here for a long time. And hadn’t done. So you write down something that you’ve achieved. One of the reasons that we encourage people to do this is because it gets you to remember the glow that comes with that sense of “I’m glad I did that”.

The next thing we ask people to do is to rate how well their sense of achievement is currently met in their life. Are you learning? Are you stretching yourself? Are you achieving things or are you just drifting through life one day at a time? I don’t mean to sound critical of… maybe sometimes you need a rest. I’ve just had a two week holiday where I drifted for two weeks. Very happily. Thank you. But if that had gone on for more than two weeks, I would have started to get a bit restless because I like to get things done. And although I love camping and sitting, watching the birds and the scenery and the weather, there’s, it’s, it’s change that you need. You need to change of environment. And if I’d been had to camp for the rest of the year, that wouldn’t have been a good idea for me. I needed to get home and get on with various projects and various interests and things that I’m involved in.

Link to “Achievement” worksheet:
>> https://in8-cards-resources.s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/Worksheet+16.pdf

Link to “Wheel of Needs”:
>> Wheel of Needs Worksheet

So how well is my need for achievement met well? Fairly well most of the time. I have good weeks and bad weeks as I’m sure you do, but that’s the idea is you give yourself a score between nought and 10. And if you’ve got the wheel of needs, which I’ll put in the link below this post, then you can fulfill, you can fill in this chart, circular chart with how well your needs are met. And the idea is to have a wheel that will roll nicely through life. If it’s a flat spot on it, because one of your needs isn’t very well met and then it’s going to be clunking through life. So the idea is to get all of your needs met in balance if possible.

The third question is to describe something that you would like to achieve. So maybe what’s a small accomplishment that would make you feel a little buzz of accomplishment, sense of achievement. Choose something that is not too far away in time and not too far away in purpose as well.

And then the final question, what could you do over the next few days for this to happen? I’ve just realised where the link to the worksheet is. It’s in the Facebook group, I’ve already put it in there. So I should be able to just go and have a look and click on that and show you the worksheet I’m talking about. So again, please bear with me just a moment, there’s the link. And if I share my screen again, I should be able to share screen. Chrome tab, worksheet 16. I don’t know why that took me so long to figure out, I guess it was because I was emotionally aroused trying to get things right, and being on a different computer and feeling a little bit stressed about it. So there’s the worksheet. And if we move downwards through it, see these questions. Did you, describe something that you did recently that you feel proud of? How well is your need for achievement met? So you ring one of these numbers between nought and 10. Describe something you’d like to achieve. And what could you do over the next few days in order to help this to actually happen?

That’s all we ask people to do, and please feel free to download that worksheet, to print it out, to print multiple copies if you like, and to use it in your work with your clients, if that helps. Okay. Sorry about the delays in that. We live and learn don’t we?

I thought rather than reading a story from a book today, I would do a short guided imagery, something I haven’t done for a while and it’s to do with achieving a goal. And this is a little procedure that you can use that you can tailor to your own client’s use that can help people who are worried about making a step forward towards achieving, towards setting a goal and achieving a goal, that will help them to feel more relaxed about it.

And the first step is to find a symbol that represents the goal that you’ve chosen. So you go through setting a PAN goal. You make sure it’s positive. You check that it’s achievable. You check which needs are met. So I want to, I’m in the process of clearing out a room in the house that I use as a small music studio. It’s full of clutter. It’s quite a dark room and I’ve been working on it for some while, but it’s positive because I know that it will have a lovely feel once I’ve cleared the clutter and made it, repainted the walls and made it a nice space. It’s achievable because I know I have the time and the resources to do it. Not quite sure how long it will take, but in terms of needs met, it will help me with my sense of meaning and purpose. Because at the moment, my studio is so full of bits and pieces and things get thrown in there when I can’t decide where else in the house they should be, which isn’t a good idea. And it will help me get back to being creative about music. So that helps my need, my need for meaning and purpose. And also maybe if that music ever goes outside that studio room, my need for respect too.

So the first thing is to find a symbol that represents that achievement. And that I haven’t got a specific symbol, but I do have a clear image in my mind. And it’s an image of a, a desk with clear space on it and maybe some plants and a sense of lightness, because as I say, it’s a dark cluttered room at the moment. And that’s a very tangible thing for me. I can picture that if I close my eyes, I think, yes, a room with space, with a clear desk space and light and maybe some greenery, some plants. That’s what, that’s my vision for it. That’s the symbol.

And the next thing you do is you get somebody to picture that, and bearing in mind that not everybody does things visually, many people do. Most people do perhaps, but not everyone. So you might say picture it, you might say, imagine, but you just have to have a sense of it. And that, the way that I introduce is I say, imagine that you’re at the bottom of the steep hill, it’s a steep hill running up there and floating at the top of the hill, magically, is this symbol of your success. So for me, it’s this image of a clear desk with some plants and plenty of light. And I can picture that floating, magically, above this hill. And I’m at the bottom of the hill and I’m looking up, and then what you do is you go through a guided imagery.

And normally when I do guided imagery session with a client, I will find out specific details about how they like to relax. And maybe they’ve been to a walled garden in the past where they felt very chilled and relaxed and calm, or maybe they went to a beach somewhere on a foreign holiday or maybe an English holiday, or maybe they love walking in the mountains, but I would find out what helps them to feel calm. And I would get specific information about that scene, that scenario. So what does it look like? What does it sound like? What does it feel like? Any specific details that I can learn that I can then feed back to them in guided imagery. And then it’s a bit weird doing this to a computer because I normally do it with somebody else in the room. So bear with me if I stumble, it feels a little bit artificial, but I’m going to sort of run through the kind of things that I might say, assuming that I’ve got a client sitting in that chair over there and I’m running through this guided imagery with a specific purpose of telling this sort of metaphoric story to help them achieve their goal.

I would begin by saying, make yourself comfortable in the chair. Take a moment to just relax your muscles, relax your mind, and just be present. They’re not asking you to do anything special or magical. Just be present for a moment and focus on your breathing. So notice your breath and I’m going to do the same while I speak. Notice as you breathe in, notice the oxygen filling your lungs. Be aware of the feelings that go with each in breath and with each out breath. On the out breath, be aware of the sensations as you let go of any stress and tension. So the in breath brings in cool oxygen, new possibilities, new energy, and new life. And the out breath allows you to let go of any tension that you might be holding in your body and to relax deeply. And while I’m doing this, I’m going to count. And I’m going to do a short version of that today.

But while you’re sitting there, you’re listening to my voice and you’re giving yourself permission to relax deeply. Now you may become aware of all five fingers on your right hand, and this awareness may come immediately before your next out-breath where you give yourself permission to become three times as relaxed as you gently sink in to a state where you feel really quite wonderful, somehow zeroed out. And it’s important to remember there’s no right way or wrong way of doing this. It’s quite normal for one part of your brain to be analysing what’s going on. What I’m saying, why I’m going there, or here, whether you’re doing it right and wrong. And I urge you to allow that part of your brain to do what it does well. Just let it be. But also be aware that there’s another part of your mind that knows very well, how to chill, how to be calm, how to relax. And that’s the part of your mind you want to get in touch with right now. And if I’m using a special place, if you can picture a place where you’ve been relaxed in the past, perhaps imagine what you might be able to see there. Look up into the sky and see how many shades of blue there are. Look around see what’s around you and notice it with detail.

If it’s a sunny day, perhaps you can actually imagine that you can sense the warmth of the sun on your skin, or perhaps it’s a cool breeze that’s refreshing. You choose what works for you. If you stop to listen for a moment, you may be able to hear birdsong in the distance, or if it’s waves on the beach or anything that’s unique to this special place. And be aware of the gaps between the words that I speak. Notice that sometimes the most meaning comes when there’s silence. Picture for a moment, the steep hill in front of you and magically floating at the top of the hill is a symbol that represents the goal that we discussed earlier. It’s hovering there at the top of the hill, but you’re standing at the bottom. And between you and that goal is a rather steep but very straight, clear, path. It looks a long way away, but you can see the route clearly, every step of the way from where you are. And as you start to ascend, notice there may be distractions at the side of the path. There may be gremlins trying to grab your ankles. There may be things trying to catch your attention, but you know, with certainty, that as long as you stay in the middle of the path, walking slowly but purposefully towards the top of the hill, nothing can get in your way. Nothing can stop you. Those little gremlins at the side, they can’t reach you. Those distractions, they’re not interesting to you.

And you start to move upwards, up the hill. And as you get higher, you notice, that you have a wonderful sense of improved perspective. You start to see the landscape around you. You might even stop in turn and have a look. The wonderful expanse of nature that lies before. You’re feeling calm. You’re aware of your breath, but there’s also a little tinge of excitement because now you have a really tangible sense that that goal at the top of the hill is within your reach. So you press on one step after another, one breath after another. The in breath bringing cool, refreshing oxygen, energy, for your muscles. The out breath, allowing you to let go of any stress and anxiety, becoming deeply relaxed, even as you ascend. And imagine when you get to the top and you realise this vision that is represented by your symbol. Just immerse yourself in the warm glow that comes with having set out a goal, made the necessary plans and steps. Now achieving it in fullness.

And you look out from the top of the mountain, what a wonderful sense of perspective you have on this magnificent vantage point. And in a real guided imagery, I would probably spend some time elaborating on that. And if I have a tangible sense of what their goal is, to be able to take them through a specific rehearsal of that.

But for the moment, let’s go back to the room. That’s bring back to the room slowly and I’ll count back from 20 to one. And that might go something like this 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, halfway back now 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, nearly back coming back into bodily awareness. You might want to wriggle your fingers or your toes 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And then you open your eyes and you can’t wait to get started on your goal, setting out towards that goal.

So that’s how I might use a metaphor for achieving a goal in a, in a real client session. I hope you found that interesting. Do drop me a comment if you have any, any suggestions or criticisms of the way that I did that. I say it’s a bit weird doing it to a computer screen, but I hope you get the general idea.

How we doing for time? We’re well overdue. So I think it’s probably time for me to draw this to a close, but before I do that, I will just check the Facebook group. I’ve got the comment from CG who I believe has been with us all the time. That’s great. I hope you enjoyed that CG. And yeah, next week we will move on.

And next week, what is the topic? I did read this before we started and it’s, it’s emotional arousal you know, it’s a real thing, you know, APET, I’m talking to you now. I’m under pressure to remember what I looked up earlier. I didn’t write it down. And what is it that we’re doing? It’s rapport! Next week is the first of two weeks or two topics on the subject of rapport. One of our most fundamental innate resources. And I’ve got a lot to say about rapport. And if you have any questions about it or any thoughts or any relevant articles or anything please do share them in this Facebook post. And if you can make it next week at two o’clock again, I’d love to see you there.

So whatever else you’re doing with that, I’ll say goodbye and don’t forget to keep breathing. Thank you.

Please let me know what you think by commenting below! Thanks, Alec